I wanted to participate in E.R King's challenge about the killers characters protagonists, I did.
I went back and forth 4 times on her blog while the challenge was open: reading people's comments, searching from within for that protagonist in me and out there.
Who's my protagonist? My super-hero? My role model? Who did I want to be when I was younger? And now even? No matter how hard I tried to find that answer, I couldn't and I missed my window.
And I was upset.
Why could I not find that protagonist? That true hero, the one that I could identify with?
Well I thought about it and am still thinking about it and you won't like the answer because I have no answer to this.
I will try though.
I always love fantasy and as much as I wanted to fly like Mary Poppins with an umbrella for example, I didn't want to be Mary Poppins. As much as I find Peter Pan cool for being able to run away from his parents, I knew I could never be Peter Pan.
The truth is this is all Fantasy and as much as I like Fantasy, I think deep down I craved and looked for a real hero, a hero who really lived all the dangers and really felt fear and doubt and overcome it all.
And that's why in the end, I could not find my protagonist.
The search for my protagonist for me lies elsewhere. It lies in reality.
A hero with personal challenges:
A black person who has to live in a white environment, a scientist raised in a religious background, an athlete who's disabled, a painter or musician who had no artistic support, a blind person who lives in the city, those people are my true heroes.
Heroes do not need to conquer the world.
Heroes start by conquering themselves.